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Donna Gets it Right ----

9 - 02 -02

Get Off the Phone! ---

Cell phones have gotten completely out of hand. The other day I was surfing the net and found a link that said: "See What Cell Phone Matches You and Your Personality"
Huh? You mean I can get a chubby cell phone with brown hair and brown eyes?

Oh, you mean one that's like me. Can I program it to say sarcastic things instead of ring? Things like, "Hey, I'm ringing. Someone wants to talk to you while you're driving. Do you want to endanger yourself and other drivers, or what?" Or, "Hey, you big beautiful hunk o' woman. Pick me up and fondle me." Can I go over the top and have it make burping sounds instead of ringing? That would be especially fun while standing in line somewhere.

This is where I side with my husband, who has no patience with bad drivers. If you're swerving because you're on the phone, my advice to you is -- GET OFF THE PHONE! Emergencies are the only acceptable excuse.

I see it everyday -- swerving, going 50 mph in the left lane when the speed limit is 65 mph, sitting at a green light and fumbling for papers. I give a little honk for them to move, and I get the finger in return.

Do most people really need cell phones? Sure, they're good for emergencies, if you car breaks down and the like. I had a cell phone once. I was only going to use it for those occasions, but I got addicted to it and couldn't control myself. I racked up the minutes and went well over my allotted free ones. I used it to call home and ask stupid
questions, order out food, call a friend and yak about nothing, just like most people I see on cell phones. They talk about nothing.

Here's a typical conversation:
"Hey, whatcha doin'."
"Nothing. Whatchew doin'."

I hear them ringing in movie theaters, in line at the grocery store -- a girl actually shushed my kids once because she was on her cell phone in a McDonald's and couldn't hear. I just smiled and politely told her there will be no shushing my kids in McDonald's.

Sure, it's a free country. Talk on your cell phone all you want. Just be careful out there in your car -- and don't even think of shushing me.

- D


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