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Editorial ----


Driver Insanity, Cabinets and Typhoid Mary --

I GUESS THAT TODAY was one of those days when you find there are many things that set you off. You know how you get in a certain crabby mood because somebody or something sets a tone for the rest of your day, and then everything else seems to get in line to take a shot at ruining your day? Today was one of those days for me.

It started when I was coming home about 1:00pm, and it started raining. Now I'm on the freeway mind you, and we were taught in DRIVER'S ED to keep a safe distance between ourselves and the car ahead of us, right? Well, Mr. Nissan Maxima behind me was riding my rear bumper. He couldn't stand it because there was some daylight between me and the car in front of me. Never mind that we are already traveling at 80 MPH. So what does he do? He zooms past me, then squeezes in between me and the car in front of me.

This makes me crazy! I suddenly find myself fantasizing about having a huge nerf bar on the front of my truck where I can ram the guy in the rear and send his car down the embankment of the freeway, through the woods until it comes to rest in the creek below (he, he, heh!). Serves the miserable (insert your favorite expletive here) right!


Yet something else that drives me crazy is small business CONTRACTORS. Are they all loonies? I need a small cabinet enclosure built for the addition of a dishwasher in my kitchen. Can I find someone reliable to do it? No way!

  1. The first guy I call comes over and takes all the measurements, etc. and says he will be back within 10 days to do the work. Never hear from him again and he does not return phone calls.
  2. So, I find another cabinet maker and he gives me his card and says, "Call me, I'd love to do the work!". So I call him and his phone number on his card is no longer a working number.
  3. So, now I go to cabinet maker number three. I call him and he says, "I'd love to do the work but, it won't be anytime soon. I can't talk to you right now as it is lightning outside and I'm on my cell phone. Please call back another time because I've already been struck by lightning once!" "Big Deal" I'm thinking. You've only been struck by lightning once but I been burned by cabinet makers three times now. Besides, I thought the lightning danger from phones only pertains to corded land lines. And besides that, as I have mentioned before; This is Tampa the unofficial lightning capitol of the U.S. If you are that worried about lightning…MOVE! Oh well, at least he has some sort of excuse for his erratic behavior.


Last but not least on my mind today is the fact that I suddenly have a small but annoying cold. Thanks to (I'm sure) my little 3 ½ year granddaughter (Bless her cute little heart) who has to kiss EVERYBODY goodnight EVERY night. Now, I only get a cold about once a year, and only if I am very unlucky.

So, now that she has started going to this giant petrie dish they call "preschool", she has become the modern day version of Typhoid Mary and goes about with reckless abandon spreading germs around like a flower girl spreads petals at a million-dollar wedding.

I've offered to disinfect her by dipping her in 5% strength chlorine bleach every night before she comes into the house, but the idea wasn't well received.


It's all going to be okay. After all, tomorrow is another day!


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Donna Gets it Right!

Now that you have heard the Editor-In-Chief, check out the wit and wisdom of our new Columnist, Donna Jenkins Monnin >>>
Previous Rants

Anybody who wants to Know Jack Better can check out his earlier rants here:

Lighting up is getting harder in South Florida >>

Living with Yankee neighbors>>

The Bug Got Me and Other Stuff >>

Lauderdale, Attack Show Dogs and Beanie Baby Millionaires >>

Clean Pot Holders and Shiny Tools >>

What time is Oprah on? >>

Pink Flamingoes are keeping me Awake >>

Don't Fish in Lightning Storms>>

I'm So Excited >>

Conspiracy Theory >>

Crying Towel >>

In With the New(year) >>

Blaming the Holidays >>