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You Don't Know Jack --


Conspiracy Theory
I've suspected all my life that there is a worldwide conspiracy against me and now I have proof. When I decided to buy a house 75 miles away from work I had a feeling the gas prices would go up. The odd thing is that the day after I signed the papers prices began to skyrocket. If that isn't enough, just prior to this I told my wife that after we move we need to eat more soup and salads and do the exercise routine (I'm sure you know how that goes). Well, guess what? Little did I know that lettuce prices are somehow tied into the prices of crude oil and the "Get Jack Adkins Cartel" is controlling it all. The prices for lettuce have been engaged in a mad race with the gas stations to see who can reach the $2.00 per unit first. I'm deathly afraid to visit the soup isle. I guess I need to break out the Brunswick Stew recipe. I know, I know, you're thinking what idiot would move 75 miles away from his job in the first place? In my own defense, there are some things developing in my field in that area that should put me in the right place at the right time when it goes down. I just have to fend off the cartel in the meantime.

Also, how many people grew up watching Sailor Bob on TV?

Yep, that's a picture of my sister and I with Sailor Bob. He was appearing at someplace like Southside Plaza or something and we (or I) were just thrilled to be able to watch his show in person and to be able to visit with him. I sat down in the living room everyday and drew pictures with Sailor Bob, Gilley Gull, and Mr. Mouse.

If you have any remembrances of Sailor Bob, I would like to hear from you. I would like to post them on the site for all to read.

Until next time; Have a healthy and wonderful life.


Sound Off!

Your Two Cents

Your chance to Fire Back on anything Jack had to say, especially if you think he is full of it. Use the form below, or post to the Message Board.

Please send us your feedback, what you like, what we can do better, and what just stinks. We will post the good ones on the Your Two Cents Page (minus the profanity, of course).





Previous Rants

Anybody who wants to Know Jack Better can check out his earlier rants here:

Lighting up is getting harder in South Florida >>

Living with Yankee neighbors>>

The Bug Got Me and Other Stuff >>

Lauderdale, Attack Show Dogs and Beanie Baby Millionaires >>

Driver Insanity, Cabinets and Typhoid Mary >>

Clean Pot Holders and Shiny Tools >>

What time is Oprah on? >>

Pink Flamingoes are keeping me Awake >>

Don't Fish in Lightning Storms>>

I'm So Excited >>

Crying Towel >>

In With the New(year) >>

Blaming the Holidays >>